The Crawlspace Tapes

For Just Two Dollars

Greg Trafidlo
Greg Trafidlo


This song was inspired by something a songwriter friend of mine shared with me. He took a photo in New York City of a guy standing outside Grand Central Station holding a sign saying, "Tell Me Off for Just $2."


For Just Two Dollars (You Can Cuss Me Out)

© 2009

Step right up folks, get in line

My calling card’s this cardboard sign

     I agree that this recession sucks

But, in a tough economy,

I found a job that works for me

     And this is how I’m makin’ the big bucks…


          For just two dollars you can cuss me out

          Scream and shout, run your mouth

          Gimme all you got. Gimme your best shot

          For just two dollars you can cuss me out

‘Bout your bad hair day. Your rotten life,

Washington, your naggin' wife

     Burn my ears. Rant on what you think

Health Care or your neighbor’s dog,

Why no one reads your brilliant blog

Stuff you wouldn’t dare say to your shrink

       (Repeat Chorus)

It only takes a five minute session. You’ll calm right down and have me to thank

For exorcising all your aggression. That pent-up rage is money in the bank

Now I’m a rich entrepreneur

From problems of the working poor

     And all the angst that bubbled up for years

This job ain’t for the faint of heart

I’ve honed it to a work or art

     So if you got the dough I got the ears

     (Repeat Chorus)


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