From the recording The Crawlspace Tapes

This song was inspired by something a songwriter friend of mine shared with me. He took a photo in New York City of a guy standing outside Grand Central Station holding a sign saying, "Tell Me Off for $2."


For Just Two Dollars (You Can Cuss Me Out)
by Greg Trafidlo © 2009

Step right up folks, get in line
My calling card’s this cardboard sign
     I agree that this recession sucks
But, in a tough economy,
I found a job that works for me
     And this is how I’m makin’ the big bucks…

          For just two dollars you can cuss me out
          Scream and shout, run your mouth
          Gimme all you got. Gimme your best shot
          For just two dollars you can cuss me out

‘Bout your bad hair day. Your rotten life,
Washington, your naggin' wife
Burn my ears. Rant on what you think
Health Care or your neighbor’s dog,
Why no one reads your brilliant blog
Stuff you wouldn’t dare say to your shrink

       (Repeat Chorus) 


It only takes a five minute session.
You’ll calm right down and have me to thank
For exorcising all your aggression.
That pent-up rage is money in the bank

Now I’m a rich entrepreneur
From problems of the working poor
And all the angst that bubbled up for years
This job ain’t for the faint of heart
I’ve honed it to a work or art
So if you got the dough I got the ears

     (Repeat Chorus)